I know I still have catching up to do, but I felt the need (more so for my own sake than anyone else’s) to update about my current situation. First off, I sincerely meant to write a Thanksgiving post writing all about what I’m thankful for this year and all that stuff. Unfortunately, I’ve let another week of sitting around doing nothing get in the way. However, the past few days I’ve been in a bit of a funk again so I just want to take the time now to send out my deepest thanks to all my friends and family members who have taken the time to hear me out, put up with my (mostly useless, endless, childish) complaining, and offering up your words of wisdom, condolence, and support!
For those who care, here are a few of the things that have me feeling a little down:
- I’m been feeling incredibly homesick;
- It’s the holidays (part of the reason I think I’m feeling so homesick);
- I have no idea what to expect from teaching and the fact that the start date is now set and starts on Tuesday, I’m beginning to freak out,
- I’ve been part of the worst floods to hit
- I’m more or less broke and just found out that the money I was supposed to paid two days ago (only half on my normal monthly salary) will now be included in next month’s pay…if they decide to give it to me at all, that is.
I realize that most of these things are pretty superficial or materialistic and the fact that I am conscious of this makes me fall deeper into this little pity party I have been throwing for myself as of late. Of course I miss my family. Who wouldn’t miss getting to spend time, especially the holidays, with a group of people who support me no matter what, are entertaining as hell, put up with me when I’m acting my weirdest and insult me for no reason other than I’m easy to pick on. Of course I’ll miss spending the holidays at home! I personally enjoy the whole Christmas (or to be more P.C. “holiday”) spirit. I’m bummed I don’t get to help cut down a tree, decorate my house, jam out to Christmas music in my car, and gorge myself on yummy food simply because it’s the holidays. I have every right to be nervous to teach, most people go to school for 4+ years to be a teacher, I had 4 weeks of training. My practice teaching was with 6-11 year olds and will now be teaching high school students. I don’t have a book or set curriculum to go off of and have no freaking clue how to go about accurately assessing a student’s speaking and listening skills….yet.
Therefore, I’ve been trying to remind myself the positives of my situation:
- I’m in freakin'
- It is sunny and in the 80’s or 90’s everyday;
- It is early December and I am not all pasty white, but in fact have a nice tan;
- I’ve had the chance to explore the ancient ruins of Angkor Wat, bask on the beaches and surf the waves in Phuket, snorkel off of Koh Phi Phi, sleep under a mosquito net in a bungalow less than 100m from the beach in Koh Samet, volunteer to raise money to help the many Thai people affected by the floods, made friends with people from all over the world, is on a first name basis with the food vendor down the street and can essentially nod my head to signal “the usual”
I could go on, but it should be obvious by now that I have it pretty darn good and have no right to complain. I have a nice apartment with an awesome roommate who puts up with me even when I decide it’s okay to wear my towel as a cape and hop from bed to bed or tell one of my meandering stories that struggle to reach it’s original conclusion. I have had not one, not two, but three jobs in the past two months and while the pay hasn’t been all that great nor the work steady, I’ve at least had work to do and some money coming in. Not only did my apartment stay dry in the floods, my neighborhood failed to see any water. I have my great parents back home who are all too willing to help me financially…I’ve just refused to accept most of it. Moreover, I have my health. Besides the one scare where I thought I had malaria…I didn’t.
In the end, I just want to apologize to everyone who’s had to listen to me complain, but also thank you for just letting me vent for a bit. I know that once classes start I will have significantly less time to just sit around and overanalyze. While I hope that this means that time will fly by so I get to go home and help my friend, Cassie, celebrate her wedding, I also hope that I don’t allow this great experience I’ve been given just pass me by. So I’m asking of anyone who reads this to encourage me to keep going out and seeing this great city and exploring what other parts of the country I can before I go…once I get paid again, though. Thanks for hearing me out, and now I will get back to posting pretty pictures and telling funny stories as to make you insanely jealous of me! J
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